Tag Archive | humor

Your Solipsistic Thought For The Day examines Abstract Art.

Your Solipsistic Thought For The Day examines Abstract Art.

Exhibit 3 – CatNocerous, ponders the oracular possibilities of a post-apocalyptic countryside and asks: Will humankind find sanctuary in an uncertain timeline where armor-bearing predators the size of a Ford F-250 SuperCab roam unchallenged? This tribal motif hints at cave painting, perhaps portending that prehistoric populace will rule modernity.

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Multitasking through Digital Overload Reduces Cognitive: Sorry, I Have to Take This.

Multitasking through Digital Overload Reduces Cognitive: Sorry, I Have to Take This.

Oh sure, multitasking doesn’t even require a hyphen, but singletasking receives only shame as etymological outcast, shunned by lexicographers like some denotative Hester Prynne, marked as unworthy of our global village by her squiggly scarlet underline.

Valentine’s Day in America: Another Good Pagan Festival Gone Bad

Valentine’s Day in America: Another Good Pagan Festival Gone Bad

Those of you anticipating more than auto-erotic stimulation tonight, may find reassurance in the knowledge that February is also Cherry Month, Creative Romance Month, and Condom Month. Those of you who, like me, anticipate the mechanical amelioration of self love, will have to content ourselves with the fact that February also happens to be Library Lovers Month, Sinus pain Awareness Month, and Potato Lovers Month.

Contraception: A Terrible Waste of Gourmet Protein

Contraception: A Terrible Waste of Gourmet Protein

The possibilities for new dishes are endless. Personally, I’d like to try something slow roasted over peach or maple wood, then hot mopped in the final stages with a citrus/honey glaze.

Cottonelle: Emasculating America One Man At A Time

Cottonelle‘s cynical marketing tactics seek to reduce male testosterone, rendering this demographic helpless to resist an adorable spring-inspired pattern. While sitting in the gentleman’s service quarters, contemplating the meaning of life, I cast my gaze upon this image of a decorative container, featured prominently on Cottonelle’s 18 pack of Double Rolls. Cottonelle hopes to corner […]

You Might Be a Compassionate Conservative If…

You Might Be a Compassionate Conservative If…

Can we actually define Compassionate Conservatism? Let’s wrap our minds around this elusive concept. Compassionate Conservatism espouses as a bizarre concoction of good intention and celebrated self-interest. Christ‘s teachings, Calvinist predetermination and entitlement, sanctified by the Sacred Covenant of Capitalism, form the basis of this dynamic, and contradictory perspective. Fashioned by divine inspiration from Adam’s […]

Is Facebook Ruining Your Relationship? Yes, but only if you’re an idiot.

Is Facebook Ruining Your Relationship? Yes, but only if you’re an idiot.

I still can’t decide which has greater value, my personal dignity, or the $50 skins offered to participants who qualify for this Facebook intervention.