Jay F. Nelson
For now, let’s ditch the apocalyptic buzzkill with a smug look backward at some other mind-blowing beasts that failed to adapt to climate change.
Video games now occupy our culture as welcome distractions that boost the cognitive and kinetic health of seniors.
Sparkling spin on dull pomp would champion a dynamic and beloved Catholic chief. Conclave 2013 should institute Survivor-style methods that successfully select and promote a popular, enduring pope.
Manly apes never needed caffeine to bring home the bacon, while modern humans sit at desks, harnessing synthetic “fight or flight” to overpower email and rush reports.
In a bid to break into the anxiety drink market, PepsiCo has produced its own mutant energy booster called Kickstart. Brand appeal targets thirsty consumers between 18 and 24 who ache for the Dew’s diabetic smoothness but with stronger tremors.
American culture continuously grows acceptance for sexuality as a complex form of human expression without short answers. We don’t care who Furries yiff in the privacy of their own campgrounds. We respect their hairy rights, as long as no mammals suffer in the process.
Nowadays the true meaning of February 14th remains up for grabs depending on the itch you hope to scratch. A 21st century valentine may patronize a frigid yokemate, naively declare attraction, or reign supreme as your surefire Patron Saint of Impending Climax.